destiny is a fickle bitch

So, I keep having strange dreams and here are two highlights:

1. Last night I dreamt Jake, Joe, Esra, Eli and Becca were mysteriously in Pennsylvania, and we were all talking about Lost (sorry Eli). Then we went for a drive around the scenic Harrisburg area, and we went out onto a dock on the river. Eli saw a fox in the water and she helped it onto the dock and started playing with it...then she saw a bear and jumped in to help that out of the water...but THEN! we saw a snake and we tried to save Eli and get her out of the water but it was too late and it ate her! It was so sad. But also hilarious that Eli was friends with all the animals, as she is wont to do.

2. If you've seen up to Ben's obsession with a certain person, you will remember the "Don't you understand?? YOU'RE MINE" scene. Well. In my dream, I was the object of his obsession, and it was the most terrifying dream ever.

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My life is a dark abyss

Woke up this morning, and it hit me: BK's gone.
and I'm not going to see him until January 20th, 2009. I'm not sure I'll be able to make it that long.
freaked out the other day at the possibility of him going abroad next semester; wouldn't shut up about it until finally Cathy tells me, "Why don't you just go to his door in Raymond and see if he has a white or yellow slip?" so I did. and it's a

WHITE SLIP WHITE SLIP WHITE SLIP

nevertheless, not seeing BK until 1/20/09 is like asking a crack addict to not do crack until 1/20/09. fuck, I don't think I can handle this kind of withdrawal.
it's just, every time he notices me, talks to me, smiles at me, shoulder-taps me, my heart jumps to my mouth beating in my head and suddenly I can hardly breathe for fear of the moment ending.

and seeing him at the Deece. oh, it kills me every time.

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