Oh Hell Yes

So Eli and I (Joe) are studying in the Old Laundry Building. There are chips and soda left over from their barbecue for us to eat. The computer I am on has two monitors, I just moved this window. YES. Also because I had to use a different  browser than Eli and Chrome was being 1.5 bitches I am on Opera. OPERA. According to opera.com: "Opera offers the fastest, safest Internet experience and gives you more features than any other browser." OK, Opera.

Another superfluous detail/realization: Pamela and Caryn have no idea this blog exists (probably), and YOU KNOW how much I love to talk about people behind their backs (jk, but srsly). Oh hell yes.

Thus, Eli and I would like to take the time to discuss how tremendously bad friends Pam and Caryn are:

1) Old person names

2) A hatred for kosher cereals which consistently makes my love for them awkward.

3) living in another dorm...for now.

4) 50% of them getting into Joss when I might not be able to in a semester.

5) A despicable affinity for Etsy and nail polish that we are pretty sure is a bigger priority for them than us.

6) An insidious takeover of our vernacular: We now utter "Yeah," "Better," and "Awkward" EXACTLY like them.

7) Caryn's legs make us jealous

8) Fucking awesome sweaters --jealous

9) Fucking awesome baking --jealous

10) THEY GO TO THE GYM. WTF.

11) Caryn falling/falling for younger boys

12) Pam being loud/loudly in love with dirty hipsters and/or non-threatening Jewish boys

13) Their celebrity couple name being Paryn and NONE OF US being ok with that.

14) Caryn's lack of facebook statuses (WHERE YOU AT?) 

15) We are on a first name basis with both of their parents

16) Pam's parents can't figure out if I'm gay.

17) SINFUL PARTIES

18) Pam IS majoring Oprah.

19) They never helped steal us anything for our birthdays.

In conclusion, we don't actually detest Pam and Caryn (Paryn, UGH) but we we LOVE our freedom to do so on Just Jossin'

Thank you.

xoxo Jelli